And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
