Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
