dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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