Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
