Don't make out with my wife yet
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
