he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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