I want to have your abortion
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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