is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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