can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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