Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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