she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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