She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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