It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
