OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
