he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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