did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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