Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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