At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
