i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
