a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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