:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
