You work out of a Hotel?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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