Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
