plz talk dirty to me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
