What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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