so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
