You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize