i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
