i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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