I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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