its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He did a backflip because drugs
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