I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
