it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
