so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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