I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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