Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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