you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
