dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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