Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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