white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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