I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize