did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
And then he peed in my hair
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