i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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