We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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