The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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