I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
