Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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