you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
