yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
