There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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