Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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