best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
