Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
