I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
