I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize