"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
