I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
