So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
