I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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