just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There's always time for handjobs
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
