I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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