i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
