Pants 0. Shit 1.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
it glows. i had to have it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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