Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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