I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
